I hold out a tenative, trembling hand,
So many questions, hopes, and fears
I know - my hand in your's I am safe
I can trust you to calm all of my tears

Arms that encircle with gentle love
A heart that shares all of life's joys
A mind to teach mine with patience
And shows me how to open life's doors

Eyes that share the beauty of life
A hand holding mine setting me free
Feet that lead me to explore and learn
A soul that encourages me to be me

I hold out a tenative, trembling hand,
So many questions, hopes, and fears
I know - my hand in your's I am safe
I can trust you to calm all of my tears

(c) Candace 8/12/06

~*~ ~*~


He stretched languidly then slid strong slender fingers through his
hair, as his eyes opened he found he was face to face with a large
furry white face - one so white it seemed silver. Wow, he thought -
my eyes seem better today, and he turned sleepy eyes back to the
furry face. “Well Powder, what are you doing in here? Bet Dad
doesn’t know.” The throaty chuckle that answered him shook him
fully awake. He looked at the Silvery creature before him and
realized there were two here - a large silvery white wolf and a blue
eyed Siberian. “Pooky? ShiShi? How?” A million questions
tumbled through his mind. “Dad!!”

Now the large Silver One looked softly at the young man, “He is not
here, not yet.” The Silver One looked at his blue eyed sister, “we
need to show our brother around, and call to our other brother’s
and sisters to come greet him.” The young man looked at the two
before him. Where was Dad? How was he talking with pups, and
pups that were gone at that? And where was Dad? He had been
right by his bed when he had dozed off. Then he realized - sheeze,
his dad was gonna be so worried. Had he wandered off in his sleep
when Dad went out for a smoke? Then he realized he had not yet
even thought of having a smoke much less craved one. Slowly he
began to look at what did not seem to fit. Where were his glasses
and why did he not need them? When had his hair grown back?
Where were his dad and wife? Where was he, nothing was
familiar? The Silver One looked at gentle ShiShi, “Sister mine -
this is going to take some work to help him understand.”

ShiShi got up and gently led the young man to a small pond near
them. The pond was beautiful, clear and bright. When he drew
closer he was surprised to see the reflection in her waters was not
of here but of another place, and in that place two were crying,
holding to each other. Two he held most dear, his dad and his
wife. And like small framed portraits he saw so many others he
loved who loved him all crying. He looked at ShiShi puzzled.
“Why are they disturbed by my dream?” he asked. “Do you
remember where you were and why?” she asked gently. He
thought a moment; he was in a hospital, sick, in fact all his hair
had fallen out from chemotherapy. But he had a full head of hair
now, and he felt great. Slowly an idea formed, was he, could it be,
was this real and not just a dream? He turned and looked at the
Silver One. “Am I?” he asked. The Silver One looked at him, “We
have kept guard over you a long time now. And, yes, you are

A small furry seemingly darted out of nowhere, ending up firmly in
his arms - all purrs and sandpaper kisses. “They said you were
here! Oh daddy, I have missed you so! Wow - you got tall! I knew
you were taller - I watched you grow, but wow, you are really
tall!” He smiled and petted the familiar little head. He held the
small purry one as the Silver One showed him around, but his
heart kept returning to the reflecting pond, to Dad and his wife,
to all those in the many framed scenes. The Silver One and ShiShi
looked at one another, “we can show you how to visit if you
wish”, the Silver One said softly. “Please,” he replied, “can I visit
all? If only just once?” “Just think where you wish to be first,”
said the Silver One, we will stay at your side.”

In an instant he was back in the hospital room, no one
acknowledged his presence and he looked to the Silver One.
“They cannot see you - but their hearts will hear you - feel you.” So he
went to them and put his arms around them, “I love you both.
Please be there for each other.” His dad and wife looked up at
each other, surprised, and felt a warmth and peace envelope them.
“Dad, he is here,” she said quietly.

Next, he went home, yes she was where he thought, trying to keep
busy so she would not have to think of it. A tear slid down her
cheek betraying her heart. “Another name that will be too hard to
speak,” she thought sadly. She felt a finger gently brush the tear
away, and through the window saw a rainbow and felt a wave of
peace flow over her.

To yet another home where a half grown child - no longer a boy but
not yet a man - sat in disbelief. He sat quietly by his son and put
an arm across his trembling shoulders. “When ever you need me I
am only a thought away. If you need strength call on me.” The
young man sat up taller, “Dad, I will make you proud of me.” As
he watched his son he said, “I already am.”

The day passed on, so many visits, so many more he wished to
acknowledge, to thank, to let know how he felt. At length the
Silver One looked at him, “Is this all?” He grinned, “No, I have
one more.”

His little sister who he usually called Bratt was where he thought
she would be, staring through tears at her computer screen blankly,
not wanting to believe the words there. He looked at the Silver
One. “Can I have some fun?” The Silver One gave him a warning
look, and ShiShi spoke up in alarm, “Do you not see her tears?” “I
promise I won’t be mean,” he said. He reached around her and as
she watched her computer switched to a page of hope she had
done. “No, there is no hope,” she said as she changed the page.
Again he changed the screen - to an old conversation they had
shared - oh how he had tried that night to turn her face red. “It is
over, I have no faith left,” she cried changing the screen yet again.
Several more changes, several more switches back until at last she
let it stay. Then he put his arm gently around her and she felt
warmth like someone had wrapped a soft blanket around her,
“While you are still alive there is always hope Little Sister and you
must keep faith.”

(c) Candace

the music ~*~ Turn Around ~*~

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